Memoir is one of the most personal forms of writing. The definition of memoir is “a narrative, written from the author’s perspective, about an important part of their life.” It is written from personal knowledge and based on personal observation. Marion Roach Smith, a memoir coach and writer, who has worked and written for The New York Times and National Public Radio, describes memoir as “what you know as a result of what you’ve experienced.” The power of memoir is its ability to share universal truths in the form of an individual story.
When I began writing my book about my journey through stage four cancer, I was really looking for answers about what in the world just happened to me? Somehow, in the span of about four years, I went from being a driven, professional, single woman to becoming a content, married woman without a 9-to-5 job. It made no sense, and it didn’t seem like cancer was the cause, but something changed, and I was unsure of how to move forward until I put together some pieces from the past.
An examination of the past
The more I dug into the scenes and stories that shaped my experience, the more I understood how I found myself living a dream life…and very sick at the same time. Like those “connect the dot” pictures that look like a jumble of spots, once I started plotting the stories on paper, the random dots of my life began to make sense and I could see the picture unfolding. The events that I didn’t think mattered suddenly carried a power I didn’t realize. Situations I perceived as critical turning points were just a continuation of a pattern from long ago. Going back through the movie reel of my life, it was easy to see how life’s events, some of them more challenging than others, had shaped my identity and self-perception.
A discovery of meaning
Some of the stories were embarrassing at first. “I can’t include that,” I thought. “That’s admitting too much of my insecurity and wasn’t this supposed to be a heroic journey of survival and conquer?” The more I wrote, the more I felt compelled to fill in the gaps. They were too important to the overall message. My memoir is not a tell-all, blame it on someone, or whodunnit mystery, but a deep examination of the way I responded to life – not just a life-threatening illness but other crises and challenges.
The power of memoir relies on a certain depth of reflection and the ability to make meaning out of our stories. I realized that my story is about self-discovery, resilience, and letting go.
A connection across divides
I learned about myself, the human spirit, and our ability to heal. But I am not special. Others have worked their way to the top, only to discover it was the wrong mountain to climb. Many people have experienced traumatic events they wished they could ignore. Plenty of people have gone through cancer, severe illness, life-changing accidents or major life losses.
How many of you have found yourself after the proverbial dust settles wondering – what just happened and how do I move on?
We all have life-defining moments that mark a distinct before and after. Crisis can shatter our old perceptions like an earthquake ripping the ground apart, exposing the fault lines of our lives. It can also allow us to see beneath the surface and discover our innate strength. My story is about the journey from life before to life after and the immense healing that can come when the earth shifts below you. I hope it resonates with someone, anyone, who needs a companion on that uncertain path.
The power of memoir is that one person’s story can resonate across many divides. It is a way to connect through the common realities of our human lives.